1. Touch typing is a valuable life skill.
  2. You will need to know high school algebra.
  3. Learn a second language.
  4. Microsoft will not send you money if you forward a message to 20 people.
  5. All get rich quick schemes are illegal.
  6. Your wife is never fat.
  7. (Men) You never look as good as you think you do.
  8. (Women) You never look as bad as you think you do.
  9. Don't wear a Star Trek uniform to jury duty.
  10. Hard work may pay off in the long run but procrastination pays of immediately.

Notes from others who have sought asylum
  1. Wear Sunscreen by Mary Schmich
  2. The Seven Habits by Steven R. Covey

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